Yo, I like being sad. It’s not ‘cause I listen to too much Yung Lean or am permanently stuck in Marvin’s room… I think that I just like the feeling of being sad more than anything. For me, the feeling of being sad makes me happier than anything in this world; happier than babies and money cause its an emotion thats most comfortable to me.. To me, being sad means being alive.
When I think back to the happiest moment in my life, I always return to the saddest moment in my life. I think back to a particular moment, exactly one year ago.. One year ago to date, I left Korea to backpack Taiwan and Thailand; basically alone. The week I spent in Taiwan with my 2 close guy friends before going to Thailand alone, was the greatest and most depressing moment of my life.
That shit doesn’t really make sense does it? Liana ‘How you gone be sad on vacation?’
Welllllllll, I was so happy that I was sad. I felt so alive, so inspired, so free that I made me sad 'cause I was scared that I might never feel that way ever again. I was sad because I felt like the feeling I had at that moment wouldn’t last and all I would ever have to remember it would be the pictures. But at the same time, there is nothing more pleasurable and beautiful than knowing that at that moment you feel so good that it’s depressing; that at the moment you're so happy you could die with no regrets but then again if you die you might never feel this same feeling ever again.
American writer, filmmaker, teacher and political activist Susan Sontag once said
“All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt.”
Living through the words of Susan Sontag, I took photographs in order to freeze this memory and its' feelings of melancholy, apathy, and happiness that I crave so much. I took pictures of everything around me and somehow these pictures mirrored my feelings. They became a microcosm of my feelings before even knew how to explain them. I know it took me a year to write this post and show these pictures the way I wanted to but it think its because I have finally come to term with my love and obsession with sadness...
I'm Liana and I'm happy being sad?..
(I always end with some ‘words of wisdom by traplord lee’ so I’ll just end by saying)
“Stay sad cause it means you're alive and can feel.. Because it reminds you of how happy you could be and because it keeps you searching for more..”
(wow, I'm deep as fuck)
*brushes dirt off of shoulder*
Written by Lee aka theYOUTH
Love, peace, and Hennessy <3
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Written on June 28, 2016